The view is flooded with sunny delight and the party tonight will be a subject in everyone’s conversations. She just needs to find the perfect outfit to make a stunning appearance, as she always does…
The warm light keeps her from concentrating to the content of her wardrobe… She just wants to sink in the clear white afternoon and not think about anything else… Nevertheless, she cannot take her eyes from the window, waiting for something or someone and knowing that she will only know what it is when it’s there…
For an instant, the thought of not showing up at her own party crosses her mind… She imagines herself getting out of the house unseen, wandering on the shore of the lake and looking at the lights of the house… She can imagine the people drinking and laughing, thinking they are happy and free…
She banishes that though from her mind… She must be there… That “something” she is waiting for might appear at the party and she knows she will deeply regret if she misses it…
Regrets fill her mind… She wishes to forget everything but memories are capturing her… She cannot move, the familiar, paralyzing feelings of anxiety take over her whole body… Her eyes fill up with tears that run down her face… She cannot even brush them away… She stares at the window until the light of the spring afternoon is transformed in a winter morning with the white snow stained with blue ink…
Everything comes back to her, not only the images but also the sounds, smells and the feelings of that day. She can fell the softness of her thick sweater and can hear the dogs barking outside… The panic takes over her mind and her limbs start to shake uncontrollably.
She remains like that for a few minutes but the warm light and the quietness around her slowly bring her back to reality. She realizes that summer is about to begin and that winter is far away.
Her mood changes dramatically and now all she can think about is the marvelous party that is about to start. She can already hear the crystal glasses whispering the latest gossip and the sway of the velvet dresses.
